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Prologue: Galactic Archives

Friday, the 18th of July, 2003 at 3:52pm

Horab Fibslager · Comments

Late in the 42nd Century events were moving in such a way that inevitably lead to those great calamities which follow. Indeed, mighty empires had carved up the galaxy between them and enslaved or discarded the inteligent species that inhabited 'their' worlds without a second thought. It is in this setting that we find our unlikely heroes, the prodigous Ahdkaw, the ever-inebriated Ed, the always lovely Lyric, the squirrely Nub, and the mighty Horab. This band of misfitted adventurers set off from a small planet known as Earth upon a vessel dubbed the S.S. Joshua Norton, setting sail across the sea of stars in search of adventure and fortune.

Late one afternoon, Horab sitting in a lawnchair turned to Lyric who was tatting some lace and said, "Have you noticed a certain lack of adventure lately?" pausing only to slay a rabid cow-lion.
Lyric replied, "Why, now that you mention it, it has been getting a little stale."

"That's it then! I shall build a starship and we will go to the stars in search of adventure and fortune! Nub! Get the manufacturing thingies ready! I'm gonna build me a starship!"

Months and months passed as Horab designed and programmed his robots to build him a starship capable of travelling the incredible distances between stars. As time wore on, other Thuddites helped out with design choices such as where to put the beer fridges and the number of laser turrets to put on the front. Only a couple of weeks away from the scheduled launching date, Horab invited Lyric, AK and Ed to check out the interior. Horab had done the whole inside in a lovely blueish/grey scheme which matched the white space jumpsuits perfectly. Upon Lyric's entering of the ship however much was amiss.

"Ughh! How can you stand these drab colours, Horab? Orange and brown outlines? Grey-blue with grey surfaces? You need some interior redesign, young Fibslager!"
And with that Lyric started interior-decorating with an authoritative zeal which would make Martha Stewart fear for her life. Horab, AK and Ed were stunned at first, but knowing better, they went and found the mess hall.
"So you say this fridge will always be full of beer?" asked AK, pointing to the
infinite beer fridge Horab had been bragging about earlier in the week.
"Yeah, sure thing. Never been empty, and always full," replied Horab
"So if I say..." AK opened the fridge and began pulling out one beer after another, handing one six pack after another to Ed, who in turn began opening and draining the contents thereof, "...just take out all this beer and give it to Ed and keep doing it until it looks empty, when I open it again it'll be full?"
"Sure thing, dude," replied Horab grabbing and cracking a beer.
Seemingly having emptied the fridge of it's contents, AK then closed the door, and a split-second later opened it again. Befor ehis eyes was a full compliment of ice-cold beer as promised by Horab.
"Holy shit, piss and vinegar! You weren't kidding!" exclaimed AK.
Horab only smiled and tossed AK a cold one.

Much merry was had that day indeed, Lyric redid the entire interior of the Norton in a lovely pastel-and-tweed collage with fresh flowers beside every hatchway and nice little ensembles here and there. Horab, AK and Ed meanwhile, drank themselves stoopid and before they passed out, managed to not only start up the ship, but set it on a course to some unknown destination, several million light years away. Awaking to find themselves lost in space, with a rather perturbed Lyric who had a picnic planned for that day, they gathered in the mess hall to decide what to do with themselves and their spaceship. Whatever it was they decided that fateful evening is not known by anyone, only that it led to the history we all know today.

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