the discordian manifesto

#2 in a series of six

Today's topic is traditions among Discordians.
now before i start, i must admit i have never met a fellow discordian in the flesh, and goddess knows i never hope to. but even all alone i practice some traditions, such as playing "sink", eating hotdogs on thursdays (with the bun!) arguing not only about the saints, but about anything at all (even if i am wrong and know it).
so here are a few traditions i practice in the name of our lady, even if nobody else does, even the people who practice them with me. So here we go; first off, i'll start with the feast of St. Cuckaracha. St. Cuckaracha was once a marijuana cigarette, who was smoked down till he was just a roach. St. Cuckaracha was then put in a cigarette pack, put in a pocket of a winter jacket, and forgotten. Winter turned to spring which turned to summer which turned to fall and finally back to winter again, at which time the once inanimate roach, crawled out of the cigarette pack and began a moving rendition of "hello my darling"
Now roaches do not generally do this, and you can be sure we were quite flabbergasted at this, being quite near sober, and definitely not hallucinating. so when St. Cuckaracha stopped his song and dance, we asked "who are you and why are you here?"
to which he replied, "I am St. Cuckaracha, and i have come to tell you go forth and party hearty, drink lots of beer and liquor, Smoke lots of marijuana, and enjoy yourselves in a merry fashion each friday in my name." Thusly each friday after the daily work has been completed, those who have been touched by the words of St. Cuckaracha partake in a feast in his name. feast partakers can often be heard exclaiming "Happy Cuckaracha day!" to each other and innocent pedestrians.
Then there is the tradition of telling people to have a nice day, even if you hate them. this tradition spread pretty fast around my home town so that you would watch a fight where one guy would really kick the other guy's ass, and afterwords they would tell each other to have a nice day.
the last tradition is to get really drunk on new year's eve. of course i think everybody does that so... Have a Nice Day!