/images/writings/garden_shed_blues.jpgBy Numerous Contributors


(C)opyright is a nasty word but the real author would appreciate being
given the credit/blame he deserves and a link back to this site.

I got up this morning,
A thumping in ma head,
I got up this morning,
And I was not in my bed.

I said "Whoooarggggh urgh NOOOOOOOOOO"
When I got up this morning
I wasnt in my BEEEEEEEEEEEEED

Cause when I got up this morning,
aaah aaah AHHHHHHGH,
I was in the garden shed.

So I called out to my lady
"Woman, why'm I in the shed?"
I said I called out to my lady
"Hey woman! Why'm I out in this shed?"
And then my lady answered
"Cause you make love like you was dead"

OHHHHHHH that woman she dissed me
Threw me right outta my bed
WHOOOOOA OW DAMN! She dissed me
Threw me straight outta the bed

Now I'm reduced to playing with my tools
Out here in the garden shed.

Well you aint never had the blues,
NOOOOOOOOO you aint never had the blues,
Oh you never had the blues,
Till your woman goes and takes you for a fool,
Throws you in the shed to play with your tool,
The roof it's leaking and you're sat in a pool,
You're sheds broken down and you don't even have a stool,
You're feeling too cold but pretend that you're cool,
When...

SNAP

The end of that tool... ...breaks... ...off,
Ooooooooooooh Noooo,
I said the end of my tool snapped off,
Now I sure am feeling rough,
Now the end of ma tools come off.
Don't know how I'll do ma drilling,
Since the end of my tool came off.

And then..... I heard my woman singing
she was singing the blues!
Yes, I heard my woman singing
and it wasn't good news.....

She said "My man is in the shed
and that's where he's gonna stay.
He's been messing with ma head
I said, he's been messing with ma heaaaadddddd
so he's not sleeping in ma bed. No way!

Well you aint never had the blues,
NOOOOOOOOO you aint never had the blues,
Oh you never had the blues,
Till your man goes and plays you for a fool,
Running around all over town, whipping out his tool.
And your friends are laughing at you
And you can't pretend you're cool.

Well, there only one cure for these garden shed blues
I'm tired of being a wife, I SAAAID
I'm so damn tired of being the toolmans' wife.
Changed ma name to Lorena........
and I'm lookin for ma knife!"

Well I chased them pretty ladies,
All up and down the town,
Yes I chased those pretty ladies,
All up and down this town,
Oh I chased them pretty ladies,
Till my woman turned up with a frown.

Now I won't chase them pretty ladies,
No I won't run wild no more,
Aint gonna chase no pretty ladies,
Won't be running wild no more,
Shan't be chasing pretty ladies,
My womans nailed me to the floor.