Miscellanea Sensibilium

The AOL Syndrome

Or, Why does everyone have to be so fucking nice to each other anyway?

The net, they claim, is a place of moral degradation, corruption, filth and rude pictures of naked ladies. It is a destroyer of the youth, and undoubtedly, a tool of Satan. This is great, fucking marvellous. Wouldn't the net be a fine place if this were the case? Well, granted there may indeed be some nasty things on the net, but there are a lot of nasty things in the world too, and they can come get you even if you don't go looking for them.

The net, is however, host to the most unbearable levels of niceness. The kind of niceness that makes you want to cringe, curl up in a ball and hum 'Prison Sex' to yourself. Bulletin boards and newsgroups in particular are Mecca's for this horrific latex politeness and sugar candy pleasantry, as are the numerous AOL chat things, whatever the hell they call them. Something to do with communities no doubt, the weasels.

Go to a bulletin board (no not now you idiot, some other time. I'm not done yet.) You won't have to read many posts before you get some poor fool uttering something of the highest levels of stupidity. At such a cue, you may find yourself becoming interested. You may wonder how the board regulars are going to respond to this. Just exactly how cruelly is this loser going to be shot down, to lie bleeding in his own digital ignorance? If anybody spoke with such ignorance and lack of eloquence in a real world social situation, they would be torn apart, mercilessly ripped to pieces and ridiculed for all to see. Or is that just the parties I go to? But NO! The imbeciles say nothing, or worse, they make soothing, inane comments in return.

They respond with kindness, or what they think is kindness, because surely a short sharp beating would teach one some manners and an understanding to think before opening the mouth again. They will, instead, skip lightly over the idiocy, even if this leaves them with nothing to say but 'well, everyone's entitled to their opinion'. What crap. Where the hell is the world going to end up if everyone is entitled to an opinion? Up the shitter is the answer. Individual liberty, equality. Nice. But when it comes to some grossly overweight 15 year old who spends half of his miserable life peering at search listings such as 'naked Asian doggy anal cumshots housewives XXX free sex', and the other half attempting to be part of some 'community' by shooting off half-assed opinions, then I'm sorry, but I think that the right to an opinion is forfeit.

What is it with the net that makes everyone so fucking self-righteous and determined to be nice to everyone else? Are we trying to ignore the real world out there so badly that we have to concoct this sugar-coated fantasy world that we can retreat to? Maybe we would do better to reserve some of that misplaced peace and love for the world outside our Windows where the real problems are, and get some of that pent-up hatred back on the net where it's a little bit safer, cleaner, and at-a-distance.

Do me a favour. The next time you read an ignorant comment in a discussion forum, flame them. Flame them so hard they'll wish they'd never been born. It may hurt, but in the long run, it has to be educational.

*There are exceptions to the nice rule. alt.gothic being a good example. Even though they've gone a bit fluffy recently.