Miscellanea Sensibilium

Application to the Axis of Evil™

Indeed, consider this my application to become a member of the Axis of Evil™. Let it be known that I, horab fibslager, do knowingly and with full intention of evil doings, plan to develop weapons of mass destruction, and not for the use of political/military deterrant, but for the use solely of evaporating a large circumference of highly populated area.
Furthermore, I do declare war upon the entire world, since they are all obviously far too corrupt, misleaded and foolish to exist under reasonable pretences of existence.

The only way the world may be spared from my wrath and of the post-nuclear winter, rampant chemical and biological agents which spread over the earth and wipe out all life above the ocean, will be the following:

1. All nations, militant groups, police departments, army cadets, secret service, intelligence officers, and heads of state must declare all weapons, from nuclear weapon to the can of pepper spray.
2. That all declared weapons must be destroyed and recorded as such, in a fully proper and accountable manner.
3. All regimes, military groups, nations and other parties to be mentioned later will submit to weapons inspectors, and that all the citizens of all the nations must willingly comply and cooperate with the weapons inspectors.
4. Every politician must give an oath never to speak in public again, and that also they will never tell a lie. Exaggerations of the truth are also not permitted.
5. Every member of a military group must burn the vestiges of their positions, must ask Mohammed, Jesus and Buddha for their mercy, and must acknowledge that they are not worthy of such forgiveness.
6. That all governemnts will dissolve themselves and submit wholly to a simple international yet locally applicable constitution.

Failure to comply with the articles of this declaration by any member of the world will result in the unilateral bombardment of every trace of humanity upon the face of this lovely planet with every plague, pox and horror known to man. There will be no extended deadlines, no arguments, no debate. There will be only compliance, otherwise, the whole of humanity will be a distant and forgotten memory. You are all in this together.
Lastly the architect of this declaration reserves the right to amend and add to the declaration, requirements, or parties to whom this pertains as he sees fit.