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Application to the Axis of Evil (TM)

Tuesday, the 25th of February, 2003 at 10:36pm
Horab Fibslager · Comments
Indeed, consider this my application to become a member of the Axis of Evil (TM). Let it be known that I, horab fibslager, do knowingly and with full intention of evil doings, plan to develop weapons of mass destruction, and not for the use of political/military deterrant, but for the use solely of evaporating a large
circumference of highly populated area.
Furthermore, I do declare war upon the entire world, since they are all obviously far too corrupt, misleaded and foolish to exist under reasonable pretences of existence.

The only way the world may be spared from my wrath and of the post-nuclear winter, rampant chemical and biological agents which spread over the earth and wipe out all life above the ocean, will be the following:
  1. All nations, militant groups, police departments, army cadets, secret service,
    intelligence officers, and heads of state must declare all weapons, from nuclear
    weapon to the can of pepper spray.
  2. That all declared weapons must be destroyed and recorded as such, in a fully
    proper and accountable manner.
  3. All regimes, military groups, nations and other parties to be mentioned later
    will submit to weapons inspectors, and that all the citizens of all the nations
    must willingly comply and cooperate with the weapons inspectors.
  4. Every politician must give an oath never to speak in public again, and that
    also they will never tell a lie. Exaggerations of the truth are also not permitted.
  5. Every member of a military group must burn the vestiges of their positions,
    must ask Mohammed, Jesus and Buddha for their mercy, and must acknowledge
    that they are not worthy of such forgiveness.
  6. That all governemnts will dissolve themselves and submit wholly to a simple
    international yet locally applicable constitution.
Failure to comply with the articles of this declaration by any member of the world will result in the unilateral bombardment of every trace of humanity upon the face of this lovely planet with every plague, pox and horror known to man. There will be no extended deadlines, no arguments, no debate. There will be only compliance, otherwise, the whole of humanity will be a distant and forgotten memory. You are all in this together.

Lastly the architect of this declaration reserves the right to amend and add to the declaration, requirements, or parties to whom this pertains as he sees fit.
  • This post was last edited on the 9th of August, 2009 at 9:20am
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Contents
  1. Cover / Introduction
  2. Well, what do ya know?
  3. Who's afraid of the big bad beast?
  4. How to be Evil - The route to fame...
  5. A letter to the members
  6. The Five Laws of the OTS
  7. Europe Vs The Queens English
  8. Message to Eco-hippies
  9. "Equality" and "Rights"
  10. The OTS Sensible Calendar
  11. The Anarcho-Apathist Manifesto
  12. Micro-soft in the head
  13. An Anarcho-Humourist Manifesto
  14. Sigil 23 - Crowley/Occult Interpretation
  15. Wish You Were Here
  16. Just a Short Story
  17. What to do if you are abducted by aliens
  18. Monkeys In Cages
  19. The Memoirs of Tarquin C. Ferret
  20. The OTS Interview - God Vs. Satan
  21. Make your own Millennium Dome
  22. Censored By The Huddersfield Daily Examiner
  23. Jack my bitch up
  24. The AOL Syndrome
  25. SINK - a psycho-social interpretation.
  26. And Now A Word From Our Sponsors
  27. Leakyheads
  28. Dissolution of the Self
  29. ignorance
  30. Not a Lot
  31. Application to the Axis of Evil (TM)
  32. Calm and balanced essay on religion.
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