The Profane Dog

Westhaven Part 3

Kaz watched, with a growing sense of satisfaction, as the College of Combat and Magic appeared in the absolute centre of WestHaven.

Perfect. Mistress Sunshineface - bloody stupid name but the hag liked it for some strange reason, although she had never quite taken to the name Eldorado ('dora -as she preferred - always said "It sounds too foreign, and nothing good is foreign!!!" - wouldn't have sent any college if she felt there was anything amiss with my planning, I never even hoped she would come herself! thought Kaz, pausing long enough to throw Penfold a smug grin.
"Stop scraping at that bloody puke down your chest Ahdkaw, go put a clean shirt on and get ready to have your entire existence scrutinised, ripped to shreds and then put back together by someone more disgusting than all of us put together - well, except maybe maggot-breath over there!" she said, indicating towards Penfold as she spoke.

Kaz stood, brushed down her clothes and walked into the pub. Sitting at the bar, she dragged her rucksack towards her trying to remember which pockets the more select drink and drugs were.

She eventually found the bottle of Vodka she'd been saving for when Scave was able to join her - he'd just have to bring another with him - and started searching for the skunk she knew was somewhere at the bottom of the bag. The skunk suddenly leapt out of the bag like a frightened rabbit to reveal a bag of 'northern lights' along with the bottle of Dex and bag of coke she'd squirreled in readiness for any suprising or alarming eventuality.
After a dimension-jump of the size it must have taken to get the College HQ to WestHaven, 'Dora would need several pick-me-ups!

As Kaz got up and turned to walk back outside to collect Ahdkaw, a strange package at the end of the bar caught her eye. She went over to it and tried to inspect it without having to actually touch it. A label dangled from one, oddly-familiar, bulge.
Kaz. Thought 'Dora might want this. Hers looked a bit shabby when I went to see her. Scave'
Why the hell had he gone to see 'Dora? Oh well, doesn't matter as long as she's here!
She picked up the package and set off in search of Ahdkaw. She found him exactly where she'd left him -
Suprise, bloody suprise, not even changed his outer layer of puke!

As he saw Kaz walk out of the pub, Ahdkaw hurridly took his jumper off - the last thing he needed right now was Kaz nagging at him again, STILL!! He stood up, fell over, and dragged himself back on to the table. He laid there for a couple of minutes trying to gather enough concentration together to be able to even think about standing up.
As he felt himself drifting off to sleep, he heard the impatient foot-tapping of Kaz so he sat up and hurriedly pulled himself together.
"Penfold coming with us?" he asked as he tried to stall Kaz so he didn't have to try and stand quite yet!
"No, I think 'Dora might prefer a quiet first day here, as seen as she's brought the whole College HQ with her which will have drained her strength almost completely. I think she might want a little time to regain herself before being faced with -him!" said Kaz, still not able to get around the fact that he'd actually eaten the demon-maggot.

Kaz and Ahdkaw set off, slowly so that Ahdkaw didn't fall over again, across what now appeared to be the courtyard of the college and up the front steps of the gothicly imposing building.

...

Penfold watched Kaz and Ahdkaw walk up the steps of the newly-appeared College with some annoyance. They hadn't even asked him if he wanted to join them, let alone told him what was going on. Bloody typical! he thought. Well lets see what they have to say when they do want my involvement, my input. They can shove it, well, unless it's beneficial to me of course!

With that he turned back to the demon-maggot, slightly disgusted with himself for eating it - only doing it to prove a point to Kaz. He would be SO glad when it ran out and he could graciously accept pheasant.

He couldn't get it out of his head though, that they had excluded him from the welcome visit to the College. Nor could he understand why the College HQ had relocated here, WestHaven, of all the god-forsaken places they could go!!

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Having finished unloading both his pistols and reloading them with silver bullets, Penfold ran to catch up with Kaz and Ahdkaw "This one of your lecturers is then?" he asked Kaz, not failing to notice that she picked up speed as he approached. "Another traveller from other worlds huh? She must be pretty damn good to bring a building with her but you had better hope like hell she's got a few more tricks up her sleeves 'cause she just put a big bowl of magic on the table and shouted 'Come and get it' to every damn demon for 500 miles around"

Kaz stopped and turned to face him, rage clearly written on her face "Will you stop being so damn negat..." she was cut off by 'Dora's voice barked from the entrance of the college "Kaz, Ahdkaw good to see that you're ready for me. I didn't know that you knew Penfold"

Penfold, who was just about to get into a heated argument about "damnfool easterners" with Kaz spun round to see a nasty looking old lady with a crab claw for an arm staring at him. "Who the hell are...", 'Dora interuppted him smoothly "I'm Eldarado Sunshineface, you've never met me before but I've met you, or a version of you anyway." At this Penfold decided it paid to be subtle and only muttered "Damn travellers, always talk in riddles" under his breath before speaking more clearly again "Well I hate to break up a reunion, especially a reunion with people I've never met, but a good sized army of demons is going to be here by dusk, so I was kind a wondering if you had any more of that magic up your er...." here he got distracted by the crab claw again.

"I'm afraid moving the college here has used up all my available energy, so if you and Ahdkaw would like to start securing the grounds, I need to have some words in private with this establishments Dean" 'Dora dissapeared inside again, followed by a smirking Kaz.

Penfold waited for them to dissapear "I've only got about 400 silver bullets left, how about...?" as he turned he saw Ak was face first in the dust again. "Well demons feed on two things; magic and fear so maybe you can slip behind 'em without been noticed, huh?"

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As the College door creaked shut behind her, Kaz turned to see Ahdkaw fall flat on his face, again, and Penfold staring at him, a look of disbelief on his face.
Grinning maniacly, kaz shoved the door back open with her boot "Just drag him round with you," she yelled. "Even unconcious he can prop up posts and stuff while you secure them in place. When he regains enough consciousness to feel it, boot him a couple of times in one leg." She made as to enter ther college proper then hesitated "Only one leg!" she stressed, then added "I want him able to stand and work without constant whining!!"

She let the door close behind her and followed after 'Dora. When she finally got to the top of the stairs - she was sure that each time she'd got more than half way up, more stairs appeared.
I know the older witches and warlocks used to add stairs so they had time to get settled behind their desk before people could get there but surely the journey didn't take that much out of 'Dora?! she thought at one point when; knackered (through what felt like half-hours mountain climbing), she'd sat down and drank half the bottle of Dex - for the added stamina only, of course!!!

As she entered 'Doras room, it struck Kaz just how old the witch was looking lately. She definately put the hag in haggard.

"Well met, my friend." Kaz said as she approached the chair near the fire where 'Dora was slumped. Noticing the shattered cauldron in the far corner of the room, things started to make a little more sense. "Scave sent a package for you." She added, holding it out for inspection.

"Open it for me Kaz, please. This damn claw is the result of the jump, and that bloody thing!" she said, indicating the shards of shattered cauldron with an odd mixture of disgust, pain and an air of loss.

Before opening the package, Kaz sat in the chair opposite 'Dora and lit a spliff she'd brought with her, ready-rolled. "You look like you might be in need of this." she said as she passed it over to the hag, smiling sympatheticly as the pain and weariness became more evident with movement.

A couple of minutes later 'Dora was sat in complete silence. A strange and disconcerting state for Kaz to see her in, she couldn't recall EVER having seen her lost for words.

"How....?" 'Dora started to say, then stopped again still stunned by the appearance of something that should not, could not possibly exist! could it?

"Look, 'Dora. I'm gonna go make sure those two have made a start on defences. I'll come back a bit later, when you've rested and got your head together a bit." Kaz said, and stood up to leave. 'Dora seemed in no fit state to explain anything and the only other person who could possibly explain any of this was miles away. She needed to commune with Scave and find out what the hell was going on! She also needed a beer and to find out where the skunk had vanished to before Penfold tried to eat that as well.

Kaz · Unscroll

The induction process in the College of Magic and Combat was over in seconds, it involved little more than an old hag named Eldorado talking about crazy things like multiple-dimensions and different versions of the people to have already arrived in Westhaven. Ahdkaw hadn't a clue who she was and what it all meant, but he was sure of one thing, he didn't trust the old hag at all. There was something not quite right about her, and the crab-claw hand wasn't exactly an endearing feature.

So it was with much joy when Ahdkaw finally returned to the pub where he grabbed a bottle of beer, and sat down on a bench outside. Relaxing on the bench, he soon noticed a rather large lump of hash lying on the ground beneath him, it could only have been one person that dropped that, Kaz, but nevertheless Ahdkaw decided to roll a fat one from this lucky fresh supply, and then snuck the remaining hash into his jerkin pocket. He had found the jerkin hanging from a coatrack inside the pub, it was a nice fluffy multi-coloured dream-jerkin, and it's beauty surpassed even that of the female pheasant in the back yard.

As Ahdkaw toked heavily, he could see Penfold waving at him through the plumes of smoke, he seemed to be gesturing all around, and was carrying an axe and some wire. "I wonder what he wants?" Ahdkaw pondered.

Taking another toke and a large gulp from his beer, Ahdkaw clambered up, the pain increasing in his muscules as they stretched, and strolled toward Penfold.

"Stop right there!" Penfold shouted suddenly and dropped his wire. Ahdkaw looked around expecting something vile to suddenly wrench his head from his shoulders, but could see nothing noteworthy.
"What's wrong?" Ahdkaw enquired.
"That is!" Penfold pointed toward a small mound of dirt in the ground.
"A mole?"
"A demon-mole!"

With that Penfold ran over to the mound and began swinging wildly with his axe into the soft peat, soon the ground beneath his feet turned a dark shade of reddy-brown. He looked up and smiled at Ahdkaw, "All done!" he proudly stated, and returned to where he left his wire, leaving a trail of reddy-brown sticky footprints across the ground.

Ahdkaw remained in his place, and thought, "Demon-moles, now that's got to be an issue for the security of this place."

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