The Profane Dog

Westhaven Part 4

As Kaz came out of the College building, she could see Ahdkaw standing, next a patch of freshly churned earth, looking rather bemused.
"Whats up with you this time?" she asked him.
He glanced in Penfolds general direction and moved towards Kaz.
"Lets go back to the pub for a quick drink and chat." he said, and walked off without waiting for a response.

Kaz followed. Something in Ahdkaws voice was 'wrong'. She'd known him long enough to, sometimes, not question his judgement, merely trust it.

Walking into the pub, she pushed the front door closed.
"Whats wrong? she asked as she settled herself at the bar, beer in hand.
Ahdkaw told her about the demon-mole and how he thought it was a seemingly unstoppable threat.
"Skin up while I think about this one." said Kaz, as she sat down on the nearest barstool.
"I've got nowt to skin up with." replied Ahdkaw, trying not to think of the lump of hash in his pocket.
"I know you have, coz I saw you pick up the lump that got knocked off the table earlier, so stop being a tight git and skin up!"

"Did you actually see this mole?" Kaz asked, suddenly breaking the silence that had fallen over them.
"Not exactly. Why? What you getting at?" he replied. Suddenly not sure if he'd seen it at all. He got up and left, suddenly needing to be in the warm sun to try and clear his head.

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Penfold sat on the couple of remaining slats of the top floor of the villages wooden clock tower, rifle poised and standing slightly to one side of the slatted western window. Behind him a few strips of mole jerky were hanging from the ceiling and by his feet were the cracked shells of half a dozen 3ft long giant centipedes. They had been a lucky find, easy killing and the perfect food for a combat situation because you could just suck the innards out raw.

Below the tower AK was stumbling around trying to "find the whiskey bottle" but he could probably handle himself after all. Penfold had been impressed when another maggot demon had ambushed them and Ahdkaw had nutted it between the eyes before tearing its throat open with his teeth. A few years back another traveller had told Penfold about a "Drunken Man" combat technique where the fighter seemed harmless right untill he landed the killing blow and as he sat watching the steep slope that led up to the badlands he wondered if Ahdkaw was an expert at this art.

Movement. Penfold held his breath and swung his rifle to track it. The ground at the top of the valley was becoming a writhing mass of brown fur, flooding down towards the college.

Demon Hamsters! Penfold shouldered his rifle and ran downstairs, grabbing his mallet before he headed up the slope.

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With Ahdkaw somewhere outside and Penfold busy shooting his lunch for the next three weeks by the sounds of it, Kaz thought again about Scaves unexpected intervention. She headed upstairs to the 'suite' she'd comandeered for herself. It comprised of 2 bedrooms, one of which she had made into a lounge, and a bathroom. As all food was done outside the pub, she needed nothing else. She bolted the door and prepared a bath. She was going to have to relax if she was to manage any contact with Scave tonight. She poured herself a beer and skinned up.
Then, as an afterthought, she grabbed pen and paper, did a quick note, went downstairs and, using a lump hammer and a six-inch nail (even though she knew it was a bit 'overkill'), attached it to the outside of the pub door.

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Fortunatley this was only a small group of Demon Hamsters not one of the big herds that roamed the southern end of the badlands. Barely numbered 5000 of the little devils if Penfold was any judge. Of course it didn't do to waste bullets on them, he was only shooting when the occasional maggot demon washed in on the furry tide. The way to handle hamster demons, as he showed AK when the drunken master finally caught up was with a strong pair of boots and, if one was handy, a mallet.

"Well out here it's what we we call square dancin' course it'd be nice if there was a few more of us and as your lady freind dont seem to be wanting to join us you'll have to put up with me as your partner." Penfold threw a mallet to AK who managed to catch it while almost falling over "I'll do the calls now; and ah 1,2,3 and 4.... GRAB YER PARNER BY THE ARM..."

As the sound of squelching demonic rodents echoed across the valley, Penfold reflected that though a good hamster dance was always fun, the real trouble would arrive after sundown.

SWING 'EM ROUND AND DOZY DO..." Splattitty splat splat splattitty splat....

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"What the f*ck is going on up there?". Ffarg was only slightly sturred by the noise that was going on above him. All the same he was pissed. He had after all slept for over a 7 decades - the trials of parenthood taking its toll. He dusted off his bed sheets, now mere rags, falling to dust as his long nailed fingers swept wildly across his withered torso. He blinked. Twice. He hated waking in the dark, but then it's always dark underground. Who the hell is shooting a gun up there... surely bullets aren't that widely available that someone would be using them at such a rate? And only 'gunslingers' held the weapons of mass destruction. In the hands of a gunslinger, on bullet is all that is required. In this age common men opt for a more earthly protection - magic. He scolled himself - it was no longer his age!
Ffarg blinked again - damn it where is that candle?! Oh Fuck It - Ffarg snapped his fingers, illuminating a pale blue aura around his forearm, his back ached instantly and the backs of his eyes screamed at the intrusion of his new found friend. His eyes took only a few moments to adjust. He shook his head and took something out of his pocket and put is in his mouth. He hadn't had a smoke since he went into hybernation 70 years ago... he was dying for a fag!
He found the ladder and made his way towards the night chill, some fucker up there must have a light!
The trap door pushed open with suprising ease, dust bellowed upwards in tiny mushrooms and the old wood creaked with a noise that felt like it would leave splinters. The old door was open, probably the work of the weather, the old work house didn't show any signs of human interferance. He popped his great head out, looked around and then climbed out. The building directly oposite, the largest of the small cluster, had lights - but the shooting was not coming from there. Ffarg clasped his staff, 3 metres long, and not much taller than himself, ducked under the doorway and headed out into the night.
When he'd arrived here the small hamlet had been deserted, but not for long. The evil that had run the townsfolk out had long gone, but Ffarg now felt a growing unease - something was not right. His thick skin crawled and it was all he could do to stifle the shiver that ran down his huge spine.
Priorities:
Fag
Food
Beer
Sex - preferably with a Female
FFarg reached the doorway of the 'well-lit' building, took a quick look over each shoulder (the shooting was coming from the opposite side of the clearing - some idiot was fireing wildly into the undergrowth) and stepped in.

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Splattitty splat splat splattitty splat....

Its all she'd heard all bloody night!
Kaz consoled herself with the thought that, whatever Penfold was doing, at least it was keeping him busy and, more importantly, out of her way.

Last night, whilst in contact with Scave, Kaz had learnt of the demise of all but a handfull of witches, the few surviving having scattered. She had asked over and over, "What happened? Why?". The only reply she got was "Ask 'Dora. It's up to her to tell you."

There was a lot to prepare, Scave had told her that he had managed to get hold of two watch-werewolves, a breeding pair! She had decided to convert two of the rooms out behind the bar took keep them in. A pen would have to be built in one, for pups, and the other could be their living quarters.
That would have to wait though, Scave had said he dispatched them a week ago and were due to arrive any day now. He, however, would not arrive for at least another couple of weeks as recruiting for the College was taking more time than either of them had anticipated.

In the meantime, she needed to talk to 'Dora.

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Penfold threw a giant centipede to Ahdkaw and then sucked down on one himself. That had been a damn fine hootenanny and aside for a bunch more mole demons, maggot demons, winged gargoyles and giant lizards nothing really bad had turned up yet. A faint blue glimmer, hinting at dawn, was forming in the east and nothing trying to kill them had come out of the badlands in nearly 20 minutes. Sitting down on a relatively unbloody rock he pulled out his knife and began scraping the accumulated fur and gore off his trousers and boots; things might not turn out so badly after all, he still had plenty of ammo and had barely even had to use the silver bullets. So long as no more wizards, witches or other damn idiots did anything too foolish in the next few days he might even get a chance to ride out to a cave where he had a lot more ammo stored.

The dawn chorus was just starting and sitting in the gentle light enjoying the smell of the pungent smoke that drifted from Ahdkaws spliff one could almost believe all was right with the world, Penfold lay back and drifted into a light sleep....

Chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp scream chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp chirp chirpy chirp

"That was a funny bird call" Penfold mused "thought I knew all the birds round these parts"

chirp chirpy chirp scream chirpy chirp chirp

There it was again.
Oh.
Shit.

Penfold kicked Ahdkaw awake as he ran past and down the slope into the village where he bumped into Kaz asking "It's not you thats been screaming?" Kaz glanced at him disdainfully "I'd figured it was something to do with you, maybe you'd breathed on..." A fresh scream cut her off "It's down by the river". Penfold started running again only to be stopped after a few steps by a tall earth caked figure. "Shit! Zombie!"
He drew both pistols as the figure turned to face him. "Don't shoot" came 'Doras voice as she appeared behind him. "This, I believe, is Ffarg and he's a wizard". Penfold lowered the pistols again despite muttering "Same damn difference" under his breath. Dora stared at him even more beadily than usual for a moment "Now I think you had better go and find out who's screaming, I need to speak to Ffarg here, he will be very handy when the real demons start turning up. Don't you agree?"

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The scream, as it turned out, was the guy in charge of delivering the watch-werewolves.
Kaz found him cowering under his cart, neither his horse nor the werewolves were anywhere to be seen.
After spending about an hour coaxing the driver out with various drinks and drugs - purely medicinal - Kaz learnt the werewolves had travelled in human shape. Franz, the driver, had carried them for eight days completely unaware he was transporting shapeshifters - especially hellspawn shapeshifters of such an unholy nature! as Franz had put it. Upon arrival at WestHaven, the two werewolves had grown restless in human form and hadn't even waited for the cart to stop before they had 'changed'.

Kaz offered Franz lodgings until his nerves calmed and a horse could be hitched for him. He refused point-blank on the basis that he would rather walk and take his chances than stay there!!!!!!!!!

Kaz sighed, wished him well and turned to the pub. She needed to sort the living quarters for the werewolves and warn the others that they had arrived.

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