The Land of Thud
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EasyPrint Thud
A revolutionary, never before seen, all-in-one Land of Thud, listed by posting date
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Dated - 02-05-2002 20:10:53
Location - Ye Olde Suburb of DOOM
Ahdkaws foot hurt. The descent from Lyrics front lawn to Horabs lab, had been quite unexpected, and upon arriving at said Lab, he landed a bit funny, causing him to yell in pain and rip his Donkey Capers pyjama bottoms.
Lying on the floor, writhing around in temporary pain, he had of course failed to notice the destruction of his favourite pyjama pants. Eventually the pain subsided and Ahdkaw stood up.
He looked around the strange place he found himself in, he could see a couple of leprechauns fighting in a cage at the far end of the room, but thought nothing of it. Slowly rotating in his rather small cage, his eyes caught the sight of Horab who seemed a little too relaxed considering the position he was in. Ahdkaw watched Horab as he reached into his pocket and pulling a cigarette out and lighting it, Ahdkaw began to crave...
Continuing his rotation, Ahdkaws eyes settled on a very concerned- looking Arizu, who seemed to be expecting Horab to do something to get them out of this pickle. Ahdkaw was amused by this, after all, it was Horab that had got them into this mess in the first place, and there was no reason to believe that he could get them out.
Arizu turned to look over at Ahdkaw, she looked like she was in shock, "Pull yer pants up yer fool, we can see your extremities!", she called over. Ahdkaw looked down, for the first time realising that his yellow and brown stained underwear were showing. They were beginning to smell too...
Ahdkaw had an idea! Quickly turning round, he removed his sticky underwear, and then then pulled his pyjama pants back on. Turning back round, with a hint of glee in his eyes, he began to call to Arizu and Horab. Unfortunately it appeared that they had both been violently sick and passed out...
Unabashed, and thinking only of freedom, Ahdkaw rubbed his underwear on the cage. Almost instantly, a loud hissing sound was heard, smoke curled up from his underwear, the cage creaked and groaned and finally gave way. Free at last, Ahdkaw strolled over to the cage holding Horab, and stole a cigarette from his top pocket.
Ahdkaw settled back, resting against Horabs cage, lit his cigarette, and inhaled deeply, "Ahhhhhhh....".
Ahdkaw
Holly(ships computer): Abandon ship! Abandon ship! This is not a drill. This is a drill.
Red Dwarf
Dated - 07-05-2002 09:59:03
Location - Ye Olde Suburb of DOOM
Arizu woke up feeling like she had a toad stuck in her throat. The last thing she could remember was ahdkaw's undergarments which brought on a new wave of nausea.
"2 words Kaw, personal hygiene."
More out of habit than anything else, she slapped Horab around a bit to see if he hadn't choked on his own toungue.
Two little dicky birds sitting ona wall, one named Peter one named Paul.
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul, no more little dicky birds, shit all over the wall.
Dated - 08-05-2002 11:59:47
Location - The shores of Thud
The reappearance of Keith had thrown the dark and insidious forces of evil into a state of suspended animation. This would not last for long, but it might make the passage to the shores safe.
Locking up his tower Ygg, Tarjeib set out on the path to the Thuddian shores. It would be a weeklong walk, and take him through deep forests and over a mountain range. Setting off west from Ye Olde suburb of DOOM he soon happened upon the golden rabbit of ledgend. Tarjeib had never seen this creature before, and was very cautious when he approached it. It burped loudly and caughed up several micro-chips. Tarjeib could not believe his luck. These microchips would make him quite rich. The golden rabbit ran off, chasing a cat.
Two days later Tarjeib lost his lager-powder, due to a crow flying off with his pouch. Henceforth he would have to drink water. The thought sickened him. Now he could not rely on drunk luck when he had to pass the anti-gravity rail-tracks. Long distance anti-gravity trains travelled at very, very high speeds, and the run across the tracks could result in a brutal death. If you weren't hit by a train you'd be flung up in the air, and your forward momentum would have you hover across. These anti-gravity fields not being very stable you had no idea of how high you would go. So landing on the other side might be rather severe.
Six days into his journey, and train tracks safely crossed, he reached the peaks of the Rumpinian mountain range. Not the highest of Thuddian mountains, but a nice view anyway. The descent to the shore would be easy. The slides were old, but reliable.
After the rush of the slides had settled Tarjeib walked for an hour or so towards the shore. He found a nice spot and put up his tent. After a series of bong-hits Tarjeib sat down in his favorite meditation position. (The one people normally confused with the stoned out of his mind position.) And watched the famed purple sunset of Thuddian shores.
http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~tarjeib/Purple.html
"If you find you are falling into madness - dive!" Malkavian proverb
Dated - 09-05-2002 08:58:14
Location - Death Arena
A wandering tourist, dressed in shorts and a loud Hawai shirt with a collection of cameras hanging from his neck, a pouch around his waist and a small backpack, comes walking into the arena and sees the remains of an old trap. A black ooze comes from beneath it. The tourist is entertained. What a quaint place this is. He unwraps one of his cameras and starts snapping pictures. Every time he snaps a picture the flash lits up the arena giving it a ghostly appearance. Finally, the tourist sits down and eats some chocy.
Lyric made me do it.
Dated - 11-05-2002 03:00:42
Location - Ye Olde Suburb of DOOM
after what seemed like days, ahdkaw finished his stollen smoke, then muttering something about "holidays", he suddenly vanished.
arizu looked at horab and started yelling
arizu:why can't you do that!!!, we're gonna die in here!
horab:well i've just forgotten about my deal thingy is all
arizu:i'm not really sure the last thing i wanna hear about is your "thingy"
horab:no no. my err instant location modifier. it's in my pocket.
horab pulled out the intant location modifier and moddified the location...
take me to your lizard
Dated - 11-05-2002 03:04:18
Location - The shores of Thud
horab and arizu suddenly appeared on the shores of thud. seeing a tent, they figured they might go check it out.
there they found tarjieb, who looked stoned out of his skull.
horab being rather a courteous type guy, pulled a feew beers out of his pocket and passed one to everyone, then rolled a lovely spliff, and passed it around.
Horab:never seen a purple sunset before, quite pleasant...
Dated - 11-05-2002 05:00:33
Location - Ye Olde Suburb of DOOM
"I'll take that instant location modifier thingie" proclaimed brooks as she snatched it from Horab's hot little hands. She flipped it over, fiddled with the circuitry and closed it with a satisfied "Ah hah!"
As she freed Arizu and Horab, she waved the device at them. "It's quite useful now, we can find any chocy in the Land of Thud!" 
"So try to find a sporran with a mouth you can get your hand into."
Dated - 11-05-2002 17:55:45
Location - 'The Death of Minds'
brooks walks in, sees Horab drinking month old lager and hops onto the bar. The barkeeper seems to have had a major headache. She leans under the bar and grabs some Black Butte.
Nummy! Boy this place is slow....
Dated - 11-05-2002 19:09:57
Location - The Valley of Cyder
Edited by - penfold on 28/09/2002 12:16:24
Dated - 12-05-2002 22:03:25
Location - 'The Death of Minds'
being the sort to feel out of place in large crowds, horab activates his instant location modifier and finds himslef in the death of minds, sorrounded by ravers dancing in odd contortions to the now mellow musack rendition of "changes" by tupac.
ignoraing the strangeossity of that site, he saddles up to the bar, where in place of teh barkeep with the splitting headache, now an obviously inebriated zebra tends to the cuntomers.
zebra:hallo sir! got in new cider today. free samples!
horab:what manner of cider is this that would be served in bars? it cant be regular ol' apple cider is it?
zebra: i dunno what it is sir, but it keeps the inebration going.
horab:well i'm not fond of drinking stuff i don't know the taste of, give me a keith's plae ale.
the inebriated zebra place the bottle on a napkin and uncaps it.
suddenly horab walks in with brooks and arizu. horab doesn't notice this right off, but when someone begins ordering chocylagers, horab realizes soemthing is indeed afoot.
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