The Land of Thud
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The shores of Thud
Started on 08-05-2002 10:59:47 GMT
The reappearance of Keith had thrown the dark and insidious forces of evil into a state of suspended animation. This would not last for long, but it might make the passage to the shores safe.
Locking up his tower Ygg, Tarjeib set out on the path to the Thuddian shores. It would be a weeklong walk, and take him through deep forests and over a mountain range. Setting off west from Ye Olde suburb of DOOM he soon happened upon the golden rabbit of ledgend. Tarjeib had never seen this creature before, and was very cautious when he approached it. It burped loudly and caughed up several micro-chips. Tarjeib could not believe his luck. These microchips would make him quite rich. The golden rabbit ran off, chasing a cat.
Two days later Tarjeib lost his lager-powder, due to a crow flying off with his pouch. Henceforth he would have to drink water. The thought sickened him. Now he could not rely on drunk luck when he had to pass the anti-gravity rail-tracks. Long distance anti-gravity trains travelled at very, very high speeds, and the run across the tracks could result in a brutal death. If you weren't hit by a train you'd be flung up in the air, and your forward momentum would have you hover across. These anti-gravity fields not being very stable you had no idea of how high you would go. So landing on the other side might be rather severe.
Six days into his journey, and train tracks safely crossed, he reached the peaks of the Rumpinian mountain range. Not the highest of Thuddian mountains, but a nice view anyway. The descent to the shore would be easy. The slides were old, but reliable.
After the rush of the slides had settled Tarjeib walked for an hour or so towards the shore. He found a nice spot and put up his tent. After a series of bong-hits Tarjeib sat down in his favorite meditation position. (The one people normally confused with the stoned out of his mind position.) And watched the famed purple sunset of Thuddian shores.
http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~tarjeib/Purple.html
"If you find you are falling into madness - dive!" Malkavian proverb
Reply on 11/05/2002 02:04:18
horab and arizu suddenly appeared on the shores of thud. seeing a tent, they figured they might go check it out.
there they found tarjieb, who looked stoned out of his skull.
horab being rather a courteous type guy, pulled a feew beers out of his pocket and passed one to everyone, then rolled a lovely spliff, and passed it around.
Horab:never seen a purple sunset before, quite pleasant...
Reply on 13/05/2002 12:07:27
Horab Im taking away your research funding!
Arizu looks around at the pretty shores and the stoned tarjeib. She happily accepts a couple of beers but turns down the spliff, bieng immune and all. What a curse.
Suddenly surrounded by ravers Arizu shrugs to Horab and goes off to find some more booze, drugs and a suitably attractive crusty to share it with.
Two little dicky birds sitting ona wall, one named Peter one named Paul.
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul, no more little dicky birds, shit all over the wall.
Reply on 15/05/2002 08:00:55
Feet pumping, hands in the air, sweating like a young conservative, no one had noticed that amongst the thousands of hippies, crusties, and ravers, Ahdkaw bounced.
As he was bouncing, he noticed an empty-looking tent complete with sound-system and lighting, awaiting useage. Ahdkaw stopped bouncing and stood still for a while to bring his brain back to relative calm, crusties, hippies, and ravers were still bouncing around him, either unaware of his presence, but most likely not giving a toss.
Ahdkaw struggled through the crowd of noisy, sweaty, bouncing folk, and eventually made it out. He stood, looking around, and looking somewhat confused.
"Gregory!", Ahdkaw shouted.
A blinding flash of light, and there was Gregory. Ahdkaws faithful man-servant, proved his psychic usefulness, as he was carrying a couple of big wooden chipboards, some spray-paint, and a huge box of records. Ahdkaw flicked thruough a few of the records, "Mmmmm... Well chosen there Gregory."
Ahdkaw and Gregory headed over to the tent, and while Ahdkaw got to work with the spray-cans and chipboard, Gregory set himself up behind the decks. Lights flashed on and off and started spinning, spreading multi-coloured light across the beach. The sound check was loud, boisterous, and attracted a few people to the tent instantly.
Much later, Ahdkaw had finished his paintings, and stuck them up on either side of the tent, "Jester 2K - featuring DJ Greg and DJ AK - Hardcore like you never knew", the signs read in a grafitti-style that most people wouldn't be able to read anyway.
DJ Greg started the decks, and put the needle on the record, a faint crackling could be heard for a few seconds before the music kicked in, and kicked in it did indeed. 250bpm warm-up DJ sessions were DJ Gregs speciality.
Ahdkaw looked around, and noticed that thousands of people had moved over to his tent, and were going for it like desperate squirrels who hadn't seen a nut in weeks. People had already set-up drinks and drugs bars, and were making a roaring trade.
Penfold wanders over to Ahdkaw, "Ah-ha, a Gabber-tent, eh?"
Ahdkaw: Yup!
Penfold: Great stuff, here have a toot on that
Ahdkaw: Mmm, why thank you.
Ahdkaw took the big fat spliff from Penfold and inhaled deeply, Ahdkaw looked surprised and increasingly happy as he turned to Penfold and slurred, "Oo! A four-seasons spliff! Lovely!"
Reply on 16/05/2002 00:23:18
feeling rather frisky from killing hsi apparent evil brother, the two horabs wander back to the party upon the shores of thud. there they see a tent with the sign "dj gregory and dj ahdkaw" with mad gabber beats spewing forth from whence.
the two horabs roll a up fat joint and with a grin mosie on inside.
there they begin unfolding the 'foldable music apparatus' adn soon they have a huge and mean looking digital sound system.
the party is a rockin, and horab aims to kick it up notch.
a low, almost inaudible bass sound rumbles into existence, as the kaw and gregory make a mellow place in their mixage. this ultra-low rumbliness slowly moves to a very audible low-rumbliness, then stops.
over the pa systemhorab announces
horab:and now from somwhere that isn't here, with mad skills, ill thrills, and insane craziness, come the djs horab.
and with that the music breaks into a dark hardcore rhythm offsetting the happy hardcore tones of kaw's side of the tent. the complexity of the rhythm grows exponentially and at it's peak, horab drops the beat down. ahdkaw's head loks like it's about to explode as horab ups the ante again with a 420bpm bassline that kicks in with mad flava.
the dance floor goes mad with sudden burst of speed.
and even more party goers hearken to the iller beats coming from the tent.
i'd rather be in tijuana, eating barbequed iguana
Reply on 11/08/2002 21:49:05
horab walked along the shoreline smoking a spliff. he took in the lovely sunset as he took enormous hauls from the doobie. he couldn't guess how long he had been walking, only that it had been a very long way. he had met several gangs of sheep and cows, but they had offered little danger when attacking him and he dispatched them all quickly. horab toked deeply on the joint. suddenly a dune buggy driven by the inebriated zebra pulled up beside him. need a ride asked the inebriated zebra, sure answred horab. horab got in the car and they sped of towards the spitless desert...
if you don't like it, go to russia
Reply on 24/08/2002 02:31:10
a dune buggy pulled up to the train station. strange place for a train station, horab thought, considering it was sorrounded by endless desert wasteland. both horab and the zebra, of whom horab had learned was named ed, got out of the dune biggy and got tehir bearings.
almost dry, delcared ed
horab looked over at ed for a moment then regarded the train station. an old elf, whose name he knew was barney, sat on a bench on the veranda encircling the hub. barney was fast asleep, and horab didn't feel like waking the old fellow, so he went inside instead. although it was nearly completely deserted, the place was kept in good repair, and the employees of the burger kiosk appeared ready to take anyone's order. horab walked towards the front desk(much to the dejection of the burger kiosk employees). behind it a youngis looking fellow smoking a fat spliff and nursing a beer. HEEEEY! bellowed horab.
HEEEEY! retorted the fellow.
how's it goin shitface
not bad not bad, how're you
can't complain
shitface had by this time tossed horab a beer, and now regarded ed the inebriated zebra. what do you drink?
anything sold
shitface produced a jug marked with three x's passed it to the zebra. ed took a few stiff swigs and then wandered over to the burger kiosk.
so what brings you all the way out here?
need a ticket to the edge
what's so exciting out there? last tiem i was there was 9 years ago, and i told the old lady we were't ever coming back because of that dmaned weird breeze. not to mention the damned lack of anything. i mean the spitless desert here is bad enough but...
we're getting rid of it
what?!
yeah, the cattle are trying to force a a meat monopoly on the good citizens of thud.
is that so
yeah but the worst part is they've also outlawed any meat that isn't human young conservative.
and how does that taste?
you don't even want to know dude.
well i told you guy, making the animals talk was a bad idea.
who could blame me though, a cow that could reccomend which of its part to dine on? not to mention the things the 'wild'life would gossip about.
well whatever dude, jsut so long as we can still eat beef out here, i don't even care guy.
well jsut give the dmaned ticket then hoser.
shitface rang up the ticket and passed it over to horab.
the train was sposed to be here an hour and a half ago, so it should be here any minute.
thx dude. have a good one eh
no problem man, have a nice day.
horab headed out onto the platform. the stationwas an ultra modern monstrosity. it could be occupied by 10000, with 79 trains be boarded simultaneously. however, horab was the only one there. suddenly a train rolled in and came to a stop. teh conductor looked stunned when he saw horab climb aboard, but blew the whistle for the train to get under way, and off they sped...
here's to the propaghanda state
Reply on 12/10/2002 21:38:28
horab and ed the inebriated zebra sat in lawn chairs smoking blunts and drinking beer, of which they had several more in the cooler on the ground. how long they had been sitting there drinking and smoking the time away, niether had the faintest clue. indeed it may have been weeks or days or possibly months, but nonetheless, the serving girl had continued to lug out coolers full of beer, and trash bags full of fruity funkiness(the green stuff that is). their visit so far had been wholely unremarkable, since horab had figured their mission upoin arriving at the edge would be to chill out and wait tfor soemthing to happen. indeed, they had been staring out over the edge for the undeterminable time since their arrival, waiting for something to happen.nothing had. indeed, this was the usual state of affairs, and it's main advertising point to tourists. 'come see the edge, it's pleasantly dull' unfortunately, the reality of the matter was that generally speaking, it was unbearably dull.
sure there are those first 20 minutes when you first see the edge, look over it and realize there is absolutely nothing beyond it, at least with in perception of the human eye(this was particularly startling to folks who had seen the picture form space, which clearly had an absence of any edges orlack of stuff in such a manner, which led soem to say that one or the other was a hoaxe(that is to say either pictures of space or the edge and the lack of stuff beyond it). there was some debate among thuddian scholars as to the nature of edge and whatever lay beyond it, or rather there lack there of. hwopever soon after the debate got underway, they all fells asleep due to boringness of the aprticular phnomenon. adn so the edge was little more than a dusty tourist trap, one that many visitors decided after those 25 minutes that they would never coem back again, despite having non-refundable reservations for three weeks.
and so hroab and ed sat, drinkng cold beer, smokign spliffs, and watching that which was beyod the edge(or the lack thereof as it were), waiting for something to happen.
suddenly the calm was broken by the sound of a propeelor driven airplane. horab and ed looked behind them to see a small cessna flying over head. without any regard for the genral geography of the place, the plane coninued towards, then summarily after crossing over it, beyond the edge. it coninued flying without any apparent regard for the lack of anything in particular, untill it became little more than small dot, far into the edge. horab and ed who had been watching the entire occurence with a fanatical fascination, regarded each other as it finally left their ability ot hear or see it anymore.
ed: is that what we're waiting for?
horab:i dunno, if it is, we may have missed it.
ed: oh well then shall we continue waiting?
horab shrugs:enh, why not.
and so they continue upon their previous course of action, undeterred by the rampant dangour and threat of horrible horrible err stuff...
to be a rock and not to roll
