The Land of Thud

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The Valley of Cyder

Started on 11-05-2002 18:09:57 GMT

Edited by - penfold on 28/09/2002 12:16:24

Reply on 24/07/2002 13:45:00

The small engine screamed as the plane rose barley enough to avoid the fruit trees on the hillside.
"Who the fuck put those there?" Jose exclaimed as he struggled with the controls, the engine made an unpleasant coughing sound like a Marlboro smoker on a morning and died.

Fuck, piss and shit, this had not been a good journey. Ever since the sand storm over the desert the plane had been having problems, the near miss in the mountains didn?t help his disposition, who the fuck puts a slide on a fucking mountain. The Bishop had warned that finding the Mayor of Thud would be difficult but he had expected to get there in one piece.

The nose of the plane started to dip as it lost its inertia. Jose desperately looked for a place to land, the hillsides were thick with apple and pear trees tended to by what appeared to be sheep. Heading for the valley bottom the planes altitude dropped faster and faster.

Jose closed his eyes and hoped for the best as the plane crashed to the ground.

After what seemed to be an eternity of darkness Jose slowly regained conciseness, a warm yellow fluid splashed down his cheek. ?What the fuck! Stop pissing on me? he spluttered before realising that the source of the fluid was a huge vat of mead spilling contents from a large wing shaped hole in its side. ?Oh shit someone?s going to be pissed?


"Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking"

Reply on 24/07/2002 23:49:05

horab sat enjoying the pleasnt view of the rumpian mountains, basking in the glow of the slides' reflections. he sipped at his tea and regarded the nervous man sitting across from him.
ben: so you want me to what?!
horab: i want you to relegalize beef. even though yor'e a sniveling and cowardly politician, im sure what shreds of reblooded maleness is left in you still craves beef, lamb chops, bacon!
ben: but the cows! the sheep! the pigs! they'll eat me a live.
horab: that is the most pleasant thing that will happen to you if you don't legalize non young conservative flesh for consumption.
ben: but, but but...
horab: get on with it son
ben: but i may not even get re-elected!
horab: no need to worry aboput that friend, you will certainly be in office fo at least a while longer, provided nobody eats you.
the perspiration on ex-mayors' ben thuddeds' face went from a steady stream to a waterfall as horab grinnned wider and more menacingly than ever before.
horab: think about these things awhile ok. when you 'decided' to support the cause, just holler out "olly olly oxen free" and my associate will come get you.
ben thudded was about to open his mouth, when suddenly he was in ad ifferent part of the valley of cider altogther. he pushed his head into the river and took a big gulp of cider.

Reply on 27/07/2002 00:50:47

bill gates felt mostly scared. that is too say he also felt very nervous and very confused. just moments before he had been watering his panzees. he now stood inside a glass cage, surrounded by farm animals. they seemed to talk at him oddly, demanding to know his plea. bill looked at all the angry animals. to be quite honest bill didn't know why they where asking such a question, but knew his lawyers could take care of it.
'not guilty'
a great laughter roase up through the crowd, which was quieted by the cow who appeared to be acting as a judge.
cow tse-sung: you're not horab!(he could tell right away by the geeky voice).
bill gates: who's horab?
cow tse-sung: who are you?!
bill gates: im bill gates!
all was quiet suddenly. bill looked around at the farm animals. he had never seen a food, he thought, that looked at him so hungrily.