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Thuddian Sci-Fi

Thud goes science fiction.

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Buckyballs and Ballerinas

Wednesday, the 23rd of July, 2003 at 1:09pm
Horab Fibslager · Comments
A small, blue-green, and slightly purplish planet lay before a small vessel moving quickly yet slowly towards it. The planet, called %hjs)@OJ by it's inhabitants, and c-34-44173 by the Gord Loriyan Complex (never mind who they are this point, you'll regret meeting them soon enough); who coincidentally are the current employers of the crew of the small starship moving enexorably closer. The vessel, the Unregistered StarShip Joshua Norton makes a single orbit around the planet dodging it's larger satellites and finally skimmming across the atmosphere, slightly at first and then breaking into a faster than sound freefall towards the planet's surface. As the vessel comes closer the surface it seems to slow down ever so slightly yet progressing in losing speed until coming to a rest a few hundred meters above the ground [ Longest run-on sentence 3v3r! LOL! ]. The ship slowly descended with three legs extending from it's hull, upon which it came to a rest. As the people of c-34-44173 gathered round to see the strange thing from the sky, a hole opened on the underside of it and a ramp extended to touch the ground. Out of the brightness blaring from the passage, walked five figures who would change the course of the people before them forever.

"I hope the damned translo-matic works this time," said Horab cracking a beer,"last time it made things a lot harder."
"Just try not to make them worship your cigarette pack this time, OK?" Lyric said.
"Aye, maybe this'll be a planet of Kylie Minogue clones!" AK continued, "With illicit rivers and scandelous trees!" [ i dunno :b ]
The five Thuddites walked down the length of the ramp babbling incoherently about how to break the bad news to the inhabitants that gathered before them, and what to do if the translo-matic didn't work.

"Ahem. Hi there!" Horab started with a wave.
The inhabitants waved back and replied in chorus, "Hi there!"
"My name is Horab Fibslager, and this is Ahdkaw, Lyric, Ed and Nub, and we are under the absolute dictorate declaration of the Gord Loriyan Complex Supreme High Command, here to relocate you via suspended animation and miniaturisation to a more suitable world. This planet has been declared zoned for Commercial Projexts Type z49-zmmm02278. Thank you for your cooperation."
The people sat looking stunned at Horab, as if unable to comprehend a word he was saying.
"We have beer and lots of hot chicks!" shouted Ed who then pointed dramatically up the ramp.
The people looked at each other a moment, and then charged up the ramp. Horab pushed a button on a remote control and freezing-gas and miniaturisation-gases were released on to the people. The five Thuddites made their way up the the ramp. A couple of minutes later, Horab came back out with a broom and dust-pan and collected the now shrunk and frozen former-inhabitants of the place. Horab re-entered the ship, the ramp unextended and the hatch closed behind him...
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Contents
  1. Cover / Introduction
  2. Prologue: Galactic Archives
  3. Buckyballs and Ballerinas
  4. Malted Clouds
  5. In space no one can hear you party
  6. EasyPrint
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